Snowflake: Day Six

[mistressjinx]

In your own space, share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. Something that impacted on your consciousness in a way that left its mark on your soul. 

Film | Beautiful Thing | 1996

• A tender love story set during a hot summer on a South-East London housing estate. Jamie, a relatively unpopular lad who bunks off school to avoid football, lives next door to Ste, a more popular athletic lad but who is frequently beaten up by his father and older brother. Such an episode of violence brings Jamie and Ste together: Sandra (Jamie's mum) offers refugee to Ste, who has to 'top-and-tail' with Jamie. Hence, the story tells of their growing attraction for one another, from initial lingering glances to their irrefutable love, which so magnificently illustrated at the end of the film. In deals with the tribulations of coming to terms with their sexuality and of others finding out, in light of Sandra's unwavering loyalty and defence of Jamie and the fear of repercussion should Ste's family find out. The plot is set against sub-texts of Sandra's desire to manage her own pub, and thus escape the estate, and of her new relationship with her hippy boyfriend Tony; and of Leah, the brassy girl next door who has been expelled from school and spends her time listening to Mama Cass records and tripping on a variety of drugs.

I so very much would like to express my feelings about this film to you. I'm afraid I'm a bit inarticulate about these things, but I'll have a go: 

I saw this movie when I was 15 years old and it sort of changed everything for me. You see my whole life consists of the person I was before I saw it and the person I am since. This was the quintessential movie that changed my whole life. I saw the movie as a love story about two kids my age, who happen to be queer, like me, falling in love, and also a love story about a mother and son, which I paralleled to the relationship I have with my own mother. This movie is unapologetic about its subject matter and I loved seeing that when I was a teenager without many queer people being represented on tele or in movies. What I liked about it is that they dealt with the boys's coming out as real and relevant without making a big ol' spectacle about it. It just happened, and life moved on. I loved the powerful momma bear character that Sandra was. She was fierce and reminded me a lot of my mother who wouldn't take shit from anyone.

I just love this film so much. I watch it during extreme emotional times in my life. When I'm really happy or really sad. I watch it when I'm bored and need the familiarity to escape to. I watch it when I miss people. It's such a security blanket for me, and such a huge comfort. So many times in my life I've just had a shit day, and I've come home and put it on and fallen into it. It's my safe haven. I know the entire thing by heart since i've seen it like 200 times (and that's not hyperbole). I quote scenes from it on the daily. I didn't come down with the last shower falls from my lips quite often... I think the only thing about it I'd wish for is the chance to be able to see it again for the very first time. To be able to experience that, and fall in love with the film all over again. 

This is my movie right here. From the first note of Make Your Own Kind Of Music, until the end with Jamie and Ste dancing without a care in the world because they are in love and that's all that matters, this film has my heart. And always will.